What I love about The New Year is exactly that. A new year brings a new beginning. Especially if the current year has been a tough one, the new year brings hope for a brighter one. It’s a chance to let go of the things that have hurt you, the people that you should have cut off, and bad habits you should have broken. It’s an opportunity to strive to be a better person in the new year than you were in the one that’s ending. It’s a chance for a fresh start. Thank God for that!
There are tons of magazines out there telling us what sexy is. How to look sexy, how to be sexy, how to smell sexy, and so on and so on. Many women don’t realize that sexiness doesn’t have to be overt, because we are told over and over that sexiness is an outside thing. I beg to differ.
Sexiness can be more of a subtleness. That can be more intriguing than the obvious sexiness that we as women oftentimes feel we need to exude. You don’t have to show a man everything that you have. It’s a good thing to leave something to the imagination.
Sexiness can come in the form of your smartness. It can come in the form of your smile, your humor, or your inner beauty and strength. It can be in the way that you walk, and in your confidence. Sexiness comes in the package that you choose to create.
Dating is certainly not an easy thing to do. Especially in today’s society where having morals seems to be a thing of the past. Yes there are plenty of fish in the sea, but it’s tough to find one worth keeping. Luckily for us single girls there are a few qualities that can help us distinguish which fish to reel in and which ones to throw right back in the sea.
He’s a God Fearing Man
- If you’re a God fearing woman what sense does it make to be with a man who is not? It doesn’t! If a man isn’t led by God then he certainly can’t lead you anywhere. If God is the head of your life you should want a man that does the same. I don’t just mean he believes in God. He has a relationship with him, and makes an effort to try to be a man of God. He will pray for you and he will also pray with you.
He treats the women in his life with respect
- You can learn a lot just by watching the way a man treats the women in his life. If he treats his momma, his aunts, sisters, and the women in his life like queens that is a good sign. A man that knows how to respect the women in his life is more likely to treat the woman that he’s dating right.
He’s a good communicator
- Most men absolutely freaking suck at communicating!! A lot of times they don’t want to share how they feel and leave you in the dark. However a man that is a great communicator is totally different. He is open and honest with you. He makes it a priority to keep the airwaves of communication clear and concise. Not only will he be open with you but you will feel comfortable being open and honest with him.
He makes the effort to spend time with you
- I don’t care what anyone says, a man makes time for what’s important to him. No matter how tired he is, or how hectic his schedule is he is going to find the time to spend with you. If you mean something to him he is going to find a way to make it work.
He brings out the best in you
- A man that brings out the best in you is going to do just that. He will encourage you to be a better person. He will inspire you to go after your dreams, and make you want to be the best person you can be. He will make you feel like the most beautiful woman in the world, and in his eyes you are.
During this holiday season please remember what it is really about. It’s not about how many gifts you can buy or finding the best sales. It’s seems like every year as a society we get further and further away from what the holidays are all about. The Christmas season is about love. God’s love that he showed for us by sending his son into the world. It’s also about love that we have for our families, friends, and those dear to us. In the midst of the parties, food, presents, and entertainment, don’t forget to focus on giving love. You don’t have to stand in long lines to buy it or wait for it to go on sale. It is completely free. The only place you have to get it from is your heart.
John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
Style is not something you can just buy off a clothing rack in a store. I don’t care where you buy it or how much you pay for it. Style is something that you must create for yourself. It’s not about putting on what someone else thinks you look good in or what you think is the new fad. It is all about being comfortable and confident in what suits you.
Style is not about the most expensive, or the most popular brand. So many people get caught up in designer this and designer that. You can go to a thrift store or shop the clearance rack and look just as good as someone with a designer outfit. It’s all about finding what works for your personality and body type. Then add some confidence and swag….you’re good to go! Remember you make the clothes the clothes don’t make you!
Comfort is a thing that we all cling to. No women ever wants to do what we are uncomfortable with. So we live our day to day lives in exactly that…comfort. We eat at the places that make us comfortable. We wear the same old Pj’s because they are comfortable. We visit the places that we are comfortable with. The good thing about comfort is that we are familiar with it, but on the flip side we in a lot of ways sell ourselves short.
There are women who are afraid to go on airplanes so that vacation they have always dreamed of will never happen. There are women that stay in terrible relationships because they are comfortable. They are use to being with their significant other and are afraid to see what life is like without him even though they are miserable. There are women too afraid to cut their hair into that cute hairstyle they saw in a magazine. So they cut out the picture and keep it tucked away wishing they had the nerve to just do it.
There are times when the most amazing things come from doing what makes us uncomfortable. Going outside of that comfort zone can be the one thing we may need to free ourselves from fear. Sometimes stepping outside of our comfort zone is exactly what we need in order to experience and to be taken to a new level in our life.
There is so much beauty and strength in black womanhood. We come from a very strong race of women. I don’t think for a second that being strong is something our ancestors purposely sought after. It was something they had no choice but to be.
In the days of slavery black women literally had to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders. When you read about the life of Harriet Tubman who freed hundreds of slaves, to Shirley Chisholm as a politician who fought for equality, we come from women who took a stand and pushed through. They pushed through the horrific hatred, racism, and inequality. The strength and courageousness of our ancestors has been passed on from generation to generation. It is a part of our heritage, history, and culture. It’s as if it has become a part of our DNA.
There are many times when the black woman is criticized. Criticized for being too strong and opinionated. A true strong black woman knows how to have a balance of both. A balance of being strong enough to do what she has to do, but vulnerable enough to allow herself to give love and to be loved.